Adoption is often discussed in theory. We debate it, defend it, promote it, and celebrate it from a distance. But for most families, the real question is not whether adoption is admirable.
The real question is: What actually happens when you say yes? What does adoption do to your marriage? Your children? Your faith? Your plans? For our family, the answer began on a stretch of highway between Summerfield and Asheboro, North Carolina… with two pigs in a horse trailer.
The Call I Will Never Forget
I will never forget where I was when I received the call that Faith Ann had been born. It was already an exciting day because my two older kids and I were driving to pick up two pigs for our little farm. Of course, they did not know that. I told them we needed the horse trailer because I was picking up some “furniture.”
Somewhere along that drive, my phone rang. The adoption agency was on the other end. They always called the adoptive dad first. Their reasoning was that adoptive moms tend to get emotional and forget details in moments like this. Their words, not mine! I answered, and Faith Ann had been born. Her birth mother wanted to move forward with placing her in our home, and then it was my job to call Anna. When I told her the news, we both cried. Then I realized my older daughter, who was only seven but sharp as a tack, had heard everything. Now the three of us were crying and praising God right there in the truck. Then Anna asked, “Well, what are y’all going to do?” “What do you mean?” I said. “We have to be in Raleigh-Durham in the morning. We have a million things to do. Are y’all coming home?” “Yeah, babe,” I replied. “We are going to come home… right after I pick up these pigs.”
We were adding to the family that weekend in more ways than one. That day felt surreal. But what we did not yet know was how much saying yes would reshape us.
When the Decision Became Personal
Months earlier, Anna and I had been talking about adoption as an act of obedience. We were studying Scripture and wrestling with what it meant that we ourselves had been adopted by God. Romans 8, Galatians 4, Ephesians 1. Adoption was not a metaphor on the margins. It was central. However, conviction still leaves room for hesitation.
One night, while driving to meet Anna and the kids at a circus, we were talking on the phone about the adoption. In the middle of that conversation, Anna said something simple but powerful: she believed God could sustain us through whatever challenges this little girl might face. After I hung up, I had a moment I do not describe lightly. I believe the Bible is the Word of God, and I do not casually claim that God “spoke” to me. But in that moment, there was a clarity that cut through everything else. All I sensed was this: “Her name is Faith.” That was enough. From that point forward, this was no longer a general openness to adoption. I knew this was our daughter.
T-Tiny and the NICU
When Faith Ann was born, she was tiny. So tiny, in fact, that Anna described her as “T-tiny.” She was in the neonatal intensive care unit with Down syndrome, a heart defect, and feeding difficulties. What we thought might be a short hospital stay turned into a couple of months. We were told she would need open-heart surgery, but first she needed to gain weight. She struggled to bottle-feed and was placed on a feeding tube. The plan was for her to learn to bottle-feed before coming home, but the hospital environment was not ideal for rest and growth.
In all of this, Anna was a rock (as she still is!). Every single day she drove an hour and a half to be with Faith Ann, while still caring for our other kids at home. About a month in, we transferred Faith Ann to a hospital closer to us. Eventually, the doctors decided it would be best for her holistic health to come home with a G-tube.
Two months after she was born, on April 6, 2017, Faith Ann came home. She weighed about five pounds. And that very first night, wouldn’t you know it, she drank about half a bottle by herself. It felt like a small miracle in our living room.
What Adoption Did to Our Family
Adoption did not simplify our lives. It complicated them. There were therapy appointments, medical consultations, meetings, advocacy conversations, and constant explanations to people about why Faith Ann is unique. There were feeding schedules and heart monitoring and a steep learning curve.
But there was also something else.
Our other children took to her immediately. They loved her as a full sibling from the start. Their lives were turned upside down, yet they adapted with a tenderness that still humbles me. They have never once complained about the sacrifices required to care for their sister.
Our extended family embraced her just as quickly. Grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins. Faith Ann was not treated as an addition with an asterisk. She was simply family.
On March 7, 2018, we received Faith Ann’s adoption decree. She had already been functioning as a full member of our family, but that day made it official. She became a forever Hopper.
What Adoption Really Does
People often ask what adoption does to a family.
- It exposes weakness.
- It forces dependence.
- It requires sacrifice.
But it also expands love.
- It reorders priorities.
- It reshapes definitions of success and dignity.
- It teaches your children that belonging is not earned.
- It clarifies the gospel in ways that sermons alone cannot.
Adoption taught me something profound about the Father’s heart. We did not adopt Faith Ann because she was impressive. We adopted her because she was ours. Permanently. And that is what God has done for us in Christ. Adoption did not just give Faith Ann a family. It changed ours, and it changed me.
If you are wrestling with whether saying yes would disrupt your life, I can tell you this: it probably will. But sometimes the disruption is exactly what God uses to deepen your joy.
Andrew Hopper
Want to Go Deeper? If this theme stirs something in you, we’d love for you to explore more in Pastor Andrew’s book Chosen: Building Families the Way God Builds His. You can purchase it here, or click here to learn more and download a free chapter.
